For the collection project, I wanted to focus more on non-physical collections we all keep. What is a collection we all keep, that is always changing, evolving, growing and re-shaping? Memories. In particular, I was interested in the idea of presenting how although our memories are our own personal collections, they can change in relation internal and external factors. 

In my own case, I find that retrospect is rose-tinted, and although the actual event may have been bland or mundane, my memories of it becomes steeped in wistful sentiment. Initially, I set out to present how although our memories are always changing, the way it feels always remains the same. First, I gathered 10 of my worst polaroid photographs- they either where too dark, too overexposed,  or blurry. Essentially, they where moments "lost in time", where I had no real documentation of other than my mind- and my mind may change the memory so how well can I trust it? does it matter? No! as long as I remember how each memory made me feel, then it was enough.

Next, I amassed a series of videos stored on my hard-drive of moments which held strong sentimental impact- my creating a short video sequence of sounds and images, sometimes overlapping and sometimes clashing, (see Collection: Take 1), and presented the polaroids and video alongside each other. The polaroids where turned over, to reveal the black side rather than the photographs.

When presented, the feedback I received was that the video more so proposes the concept of a "collection of in-between moments". Like the I was collecting the spaces in between memories. Essentially, I was told I was "giving life to the non-descript spaces and immortalising them forever".

I loved this, so I ran with it further developing my idea. Over a series of edits, I incorporated more meaning as well as more of these "in-between memories" into the video. My idea morphed from how our memories change to the solid thing we associate with it. For example, a key memory I have is of my cousin's 30th birthday. I danced for hours to all the reggae, 70s Brazilian funk and 90s hip hop tracks I loved. I may not remember the sequence of events, how the day progressed into night (i.e. the passage of time), or what was said- but I remember how it made me feel. How elated I was and how grateful I felt. So I associated that memory a colour, and did this for every memory I incorporated in the video. Then I created another video; a collection of happy assorted sensations. 

Like Mark Rothko's "Colour field painting",

 Or Kazimir Malevich's "Red Square." 

I would block out the image with the colour.

It was how I felt, and how I remember. Sometimes a memory is just the way It felt, sometimes it's how something happened. ETC.

For the Altered Spaces project, I wanted to explore the idea of being able to see a space but not in it's entirety. I wanted to present the spirit realm. 

As a christian, I was always interested in the idea of the spirit realm- layers upon reality which are somehow more real than everything around me.

As a starting point, I sat down and meditated. Making the effort to clear my head of questions and queries proved to be the right decision, as later I reached a point were I was mentally ready to dive into researching how the spiritual realm has been presented through religious texts and peoples' personal experiences'. After this, I produced a series of sketches and collages drafting ideas of pieces I could create. I came to the final idea of a collage with elements of painting, depicting the duality of man in regards to spirituality and the poison of routine and religion. 

I like how my final painting turned out, because I think I did a good job portraying the overall themes of human spirituality using both overt and covert means of symbolism. Although I do like how my piece communicates my message, I do not like how dark, sinister and lugubrious it became. I wanted to priotisize objectivity in the way in which I presented spirituality, but I realise because the topic itself has become so illusive and contextually charged with dark overtones due to the taboo nature of it after a millennia of misunderstanding and fear mongering- it has become dark at face-value, but beautiful beneath. People fear what the don't understand, and such has become of the topic of spirituality and enlightenment in a western context. So thinking about it now, I realise the only reason why I am disinclined to fully enjoy my piece is because I am uncomfortable with how truthful it became, and how much I blended politics with spirituality. The piece has taken a life of its own, and such is the nature of art. And Ironically, I like that.

It took me a while find a news story I was interested enough in for the Material News project. Initially, I began by cutting out assorted news articles I was somewhat intrigued by and sketching a few project ideas I could create from them. Eventually, I found an article about a pedophile who was recently imprisoned in the Metro which evoked a strong sense of disgust in me. I knew I found my news story.

After conceptualising a few ideas which I could presented this as an artwork, I had a mini crisis of faith- how could people like this exist? are they born this way? are they created? The idea had morphed and I wanted to present a piece about conditioning, abuse of power, and present a moral dilemma. Pedophilia and sexual abuse in the Catholic Church. 

I struggled to generate ideas about how I could create something about the sexual abuse in the Catholic Church. And after some introspection, and deeper thought I realised it was because I wasn't strong enough to handle such a subject- I had read one article published by The Daily Mail online and had thrown up. I couldn't handle it, and as a christian I was completely broken by what I was reading. And even if I pushed myself to create something, it would feel exploitative. 

So instead, I decided to research something a little more closer to home- something I could open a conversation about. Something that would also be about conditioning, abuse of power, and present a moral dilemma. Then I came across a post on Instagram about yet another police killing of an innocent black man. This was it.

I am afraid I will become desensitised to the atrocities I hear about everyday; another school shooting by yet another "mentally ill" white student, another black man shot down like a dog in the streets? what about another species going extinct? or another 100,000 cubic metres of arctic ice melting into the sea?

How can I generate the sense of shock, start a conversation and communicate a sense of deeper thought? 

Children. We all start as young impressionable, loving children. Once I realised this, I knew what my final piece would be.

I would take something from childhood; innocent and inconspicuous, and convey how this rhetoric of racism, brainwashing and systemic desensitisation. 

So I created a sculpture where I took a small stuffed toy frog, cut open the back, hung it from its neck and placed a green makeshift klansman hood over the head.

In the end, I really like my final piece. Mostly because I think it communicates exactly what I want it to- I don't believe it's a subject where a conceptual, subjective or vague piece would be appropriate. I wanted it to be literal, harsh and almost like the epitome of the juxtaposition between the racist mindset, and the childhood innocence. In my crit session, I was told that the work produces a harsh juxtaposition between the cuddly toy and the harsh KKK rhetoric; exactly the message I was aiming for.

On a deeper level, I was also told that it communicates an idea of puppetry and depict- like we're forced to believe and therefore act upon these misguided ideologies. I didn't even think about that, and I love it. It begins the conversation, and asks for deeper thought. 

Initially, I was quite taken aback by the title. How could one associate danger with the power of invisibility? One question led to another, and before I knew it I was questioning what it meant to be invisible. Living in the time of cameras, 24/hour live feeds and HD CCTV is scary- it's like we're living in The Truman Show with our autonomy completely surrendered.

It was this thought, that provoked my group. It's a vulgar thought. It's almost like we were discussing some type of dystopian future- a Black Mirror episode. So in response to this, we set out to try and hide in plain sight. We took a series of videos, where two of us sat down in public (and therefore quite inconvenient) spaces and gaged the public's reaction to it. 

Video 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h2NGBXDM4A

Video 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMsUsuGg618

Interestingly, they didn't stir much of a reaction. It was as if we weren't even there for the most part. people walked right by, didn't notice they sat at the entrance of the station or in the middle of the pavement or even the small entourage of cameras filming. This intrigued us further, because it was completely contrary to how we expected the public to react to it. I thought there would be confused glances and angered stares, but instead, radio silence and little-to-no acknowledgement.

But are there any other, less overt ways In which we could "become invisible"? That's how we thought about performance artist Marina Abramovic, who for 6 hours completely surrendered herself to the will of others. She became their puppet, and in a way she became invisible because she had to completely erase herself and become whatever the public wanted. Everything about it was dangerous, provocative and volatile. So we took that same mythology and filmed one of our members completely surrendering herself to us.

Reflecting on it now, we were definitely very lax in the way we treated her once he surrendered herself. I think it's because we were all scared of the consequence, and we all knew that we wouldn't want to be in her place. Even when determining who would surrender themselves, we had to play rock, paper, scissors- and some lingering ominous feelings of guilt and pity were present throughout the process.

Invisibility can be dangerous.

Short rational for our project

In the performative acts, we experiment with the forms of invisibility a human can exist in. 

Firstly, one of our members surrenders their autonomy to two other people. The loss of their control over their movements, voice and direction meaning their own person figuratively disappears where their physical form remains.

Secondly,, two of our members challenge the daily invisibility a daily pedestrian adopts. Through using the physical form, others become acutely aware of their individual person as an entity- someone acting in a strange manner in a public space.

In todays lecture, we discussed language and the ways in which it can be used and incorporated in art. Particularly, I was interested in how text can be used to construct a piece in itself- can words and sentences be their own art pieces without becoming poetry? In practice, I decided to investigate this by creating a letter, constructed purely of found words in magazines and The Metro newspaper.

I complied a list of potential ideas which I could explore to create my final piece which will be displayed at Kings Cross:

1. A photomontage- Adrian Brannan

2. A panoramic photograph detailing a journey or a series of places blending into one single image

3. A panoramic photograph of a place blending both day and night

4. A short film of different places

5. A time-lapse video of pictures detailing a journey

I decided that I wanted to produce a short film. Originally, I wanted to create something based on external real-life places. It would of been an experimental piece exploring how I could emotionally manipulate the viewer into experiencing a plethora of emotions- or better yet, force them into delving into their own journey through their mind/ memories. 

So I began researching different visual films that have created strong emotional responses in me, and delving into why. After reviewing the movies Call me by your name (Directed by Luca Guadagnino), À bout de souffle (Directed by Jean-Luc Godard), Loving Vincent (Directed by Dorota Kobiela and Hugh Welchman) and Taxi Driver (Directed by Martin Scorsese) and a few of my favourite. music videos- I found that ultimately the thing that was provoking such strong emotional responses in me was the authenticity in the intimacy. And once I noticed carefully everything was shot, handled and edited I found even watching certain scenes incredibly intimate. 

But I still didn't know how to go about producing a film of my own; how. could I create my own film based on Place without it being glaringly obvious and cliché- because the more ingenuine something is, the less of an emotional reaction it sparks in the viewer, and ultimately the less of an invitation for intimacy it becomes. 

After trying hypnotherapy for the first time, I finally determined what I would create for a film. I would be a journey into my mind, from the descent to the ascent, unraveling the different layers to my subconscious in an artistic exposé of my inner persons. The viewer would descend with me, uncovering the different places I have been mentally and unearthing the layers and influences to my identity. First I had to figure out, what would different places I was comfortable with displaying, and what parts are there to myself?

Fist thing I did, was list the different chapter names. These were ultimately, what each section of the film would entail.